Well what a great thread. I would also like to say congrats and yes a bit jealous. On the issue of control. I actually liked when my H was in control. It was a big sigh of relief knowing someone else could be a decision maker, bill payer, grocery shopper, plan maker. But I had an issue with friends and family saying; Why is H so controlling? I never looked at it that way. I never focused on the control part of him, just the "he's my big strong man who takes care of me".
Then one day out of nowhere H started using "you cant do this because you are punished" "I will not let you drive the car" "I dont like that nail polish" "you dont cook enough" "you dont clean enough". I read some previous love letters that he wrote, "I let you do this" or "I let you do that" The words of my family and friends started to replay in my mind more and more. H also mentioned that his previous GF's said he was controlling. Add that all up and you got a disaster in my head.
What started off as control being flattering to it becoming a monster. Does feeling out of control in other areas of your life make you seek more control from your mate? Or do we have to go deeper that that?
