Let me state that more clearly, Zuki... I don't mean to make it sound like it is a regular occurence for you to be passive aggressive. It's very, very infrequent, in fact. I was just mentioning it because the question was 'what areas of our lives do control issues NOT exist.' I guess better stated, I should say that I don't feel controlled at all, except passively by you. And that is seldom if and when it does occur. I couldn't count the number of times in a year on one hand, to be exact. However, when you are angry and we have a disagreement, you are more likely to be passively controlling than to outright fight with me.
(I should note here, guys, that we really don't fight. Honestly, if you were to take the year of our lives when Zuki was taken by the aliens, I can't remember a fight before that. At all. Oh, there was that one time in the beginning when I got upset and wanted him to take time to date some other people... and that upset him a lot. But he had gone from his parent's house -to being married with kids -to me. And I thought it would be better if he explored his freedom before committing to another long term relationship. I didn't see that as a fight, although I guess I really hurt him then.)
Zuki... What I would be interested to hear more about is your answer to JJ's questions. Where do you feel in control, or even where do you feel as if control (by me) is lacking? And what are we doing at those times when you feel more in control?
I think I know where he was going with that question... it's the DB principle - pick what works and do more of it. So, in what areas do you feel more in control of your own life and destiny? If you can identify it, it would be great to explore it.
