Thanks JamesJohn Well, typically I'd have let it go if the sitch ended well (ie, come home to no cable running across the floor), but if it didn't I'd have blamed the whole thing on him not handling the sitch the right way. The cable guys incompetence would have become his incompetence.. see what I mean? But today, it has ended well. He called back and I thanked him for getting it straight and setting it all up. He sounded really happy and said "not a problem at all!" There is a problem with logging onto our new email address and I bit my tongue with a suggestion of how to handle it and I didnt make any snotty comments about our main email address being under his name. In short, I guess I'm trying to treat him with the respect I would give any of my friends and he deserves so much more than that even! It's just so hard to "let go" when my own emotions are wrapped up in what he does and if he does it. I'm such a DO'ER, that I have a hard time accepting that he does things at his own pace. But, I'm trying to be patient and keep a PMA. It's helping, but I have such a long way to go at even realizing what I do that makes him want to clam up and not talk, and feel controlled. I guess my bossiness is emasculating (sp), and I want to have a strong confident H, not one who feels weak because I don't let him have control his life or because I criticize his efforts. I think the more I give positive reinforcement for what he's doing instead of pointing out what's not getting done, or how it could be better, the more he is going to feel like contributing?? I asked him if he sometimes thinks "I'll just let her handle it because I probably wouldn't do it to suit her anyway" and he kinda laughed and said "yeah, it's that way sometimes". I apologized. At least it's out in the open now where we can deal with it. I've asked him to point out sitch's where I'm making him uncomfortable and he said he'll work on that too.
Well, typically I'd have let it go if the sitch ended well (ie, come home to no cable running across the floor), but if it didn't I'd have blamed the whole thing on him not handling the sitch the right way. The cable guys incompetence would have become his incompetence.. see what I mean? But today, it has ended well. He called back and I thanked him for getting it straight and setting it all up. He sounded really happy and said "not a problem at all!" There is a problem with logging onto our new email address and I bit my tongue with a suggestion of how to handle it and I didnt make any snotty comments about our main email address being under his name. In short, I guess I'm trying to treat him with the respect I would give any of my friends and he deserves so much more than that even! It's just so hard to "let go" when my own emotions are wrapped up in what he does and if he does it. I'm such a DO'ER, that I have a hard time accepting that he does things at his own pace. But, I'm trying to be patient and keep a PMA. It's helping, but I have such a long way to go at even realizing what I do that makes him want to clam up and not talk, and feel controlled. I guess my bossiness is emasculating (sp), and I want to have a strong confident H, not one who feels weak because I don't let him have control his life or because I criticize his efforts. I think the more I give positive reinforcement for what he's doing instead of pointing out what's not getting done, or how it could be better, the more he is going to feel like contributing?? I asked him if he sometimes thinks "I'll just let her handle it because I probably wouldn't do it to suit her anyway" and he kinda laughed and said "yeah, it's that way sometimes". I apologized. At least it's out in the open now where we can deal with it. I've asked him to point out sitch's where I'm making him uncomfortable and he said he'll work on that too. 
