That I understand No conflict. My H shuts down and clams up. Although Im honest and verbal about it, H is very passive about getting his way when he wants it too. He acts snippy and sighs or rolls his eyes. I only know that he thinks I try to control him because that's what he told others when we were separated. He now says that I just try to control what he is "out of control" with, but I think he's smoothing the issue over. I'm noticing more and more what I say and do that is controlling. Like just now, H called to tell me that the guy installing our DSL line had the cable running across the middle of the room instead of installing a new jack. H said he'd have to get another cable and run it differently, or up from under the house. Instead of just saying OK, and getting off the phone, letting him handle it, I started telling H what to tell the guy, and that I'd call the cable company to ask if the installation was supposed to be that way, etc. I could tell when he hung up that he was not happy. He sounded frustrated. He called back to say that they ran it a different way so it wouldnt be across the floor. So now I feel like I have damaged his effort to do something good for us. He actually called and had the installation set up, waited for the guy and was doing something good for me, and here I have to butt in. Anyway, not to hi-jack I definately have things to work on!