Hi - I think this is a great idea, the two of you doing this! In my M, there were a lot of the same things. I come from a very female-centered family - Mom was always in control, and Dad was sort of just there. H is exactly the opposite. I can see that I have a huge tendency to control, not because I think H can't or shouldn't, but just because that was normal to me. H started to feel he was just a paycheck, and it was MY family, not our family. Now, that is the farthest thing from what I was feeling. I started to do things when he didn't have time - I was taking over to ease his burden, but he saw it as me just taking over and pushing him out. So I have told him I recognize this, and am still hoping we get to the point you are someday.
I think we all have these personality traits that can cause friction in a marriage, but that doesn't mean we can't learn to handle them. In my case, I would have liked it if H would have learned to say "Hey, you are taking over again, step back and let's rethink - I want to have an opinion here". I probably would have laughed and agreed, b/c I recognize that in myself. But when it is not communicated, and the other partner withdraws and resents, that is when trouble starts.
Anyhow, I look forward to following this thread. I am very excited to maybe learn a little more about how the male mind works! VJ
