Former DBer and H need your help

[sage]

Now, it's your job to find "you" time. No excuses, just do it. Get up and work out. Go out after work and go for a bike ride without me. Go polish your car/bike. Go putter around the basement. Do your karate again. I don't care, but you HAVE to do something! I can't be happy if you are not. And you want me to be happy, riiiighhht??? Ha ha ha. LOVE you baby.

Just find time and I will stop scheduling your entire life for you. I admit I have that habit.

R -- I can't tell the tone of your post but even this sounds a little controlling to me, ya know? Now h has the "job" to find time and you give him a bunch of suggestions? I get the sense that there's more here to the story but it still sounds like you are "giving" h the time....that may not convey to him the sense of independence he was hoping for.

Sage

PS just so you know, I struggle with this mightily and still haven't come up with a solution in my M -- how to convey "okayness" with the other doing their thing without sounding controlling about it!!!