Rottzuki - Welcome to our cyber world, and thank you for participating in this dialogue, it will benefit not just you and Rottzilla, but many others as your perspective is one we have until now only speculated on.
The explanation of 'me' time strikes home. For years, I thought that helping NG stay organised was a loving thing to do, not realising that I was coming across as controlling. For me, the most difficult, but eventually, the most liberating thing, has been to not second guess what NG wants me to do for him, or on his behalf. If he wants something, he will ask for it. It got so good that NG says towards the end of his affair, it felt like OW was the controller and I was the 'forbidden' naughty treat; being detached helped us tremendously.
Does this mean though that for some of us, at a certain point in our lives, we need the excitement of 'rebelling' before our drive and urges kick in?
Slowly
