hi! checkin in again- weve had a turbulant few days- we didint go away in the end - i lost my cool---AGAIN- and demanded he tell me if he is commited or not commited.....hmmm surprise surprise - didnt work- H ended up telling me he was just going to leave and get away coz there is no progress-- said it didnt necessarily mean he was going for good but he unsure ... i went into panic mode and made aplan- i realised (being the control freak structured person i am) - i need a plan
the plan was using tequniques ive read about- combined with him giving a little to - to help me through the days and be more sane... H agreed to try the one week plan and see how things go- see if he can get any clarity without me being so crazy.. i really hadnt set myself any goals-- and thought maybe he might benefit from goals too-
we'll see how it goes!- if it doesnt seem to help I will learn to accept that he needs to get away to figure some stuff out- even though it with hurt so badly- and i think him being away from the home is kinda running from the problems.. we had a good chat last night about our R- i let him know that i feel he sees me as a parent role and he wants to grow and change and feels he cant- I explained i dont want to be the parent role forever to him and that Im willing to listen to him and what he wants- and i would love him to be more assertive.... hes soooo passive- that i ALWAYS get my own way.
now that i have my goals down on a clear peice of paper- im just gonna keep reading them when i start to crack--- it is only a week! xxxx
