Quote: H knows we need to work on things but not getting into any Discussion about what we may do or anything- Im worried he thinks just being here will fix it - and when it doesnt he will run again?- is there ever a time where I can bring things up- or is that jsut scaring him away?
Until you feel 100% confident he is ready for a discussion, do not talk about the R. Let your actions speak for you. Look into yourself, and what makes you happy. Keep busy. Make friends. Smile around him.
Quote: 2. at times he asks how i am - I am terrible and cry in secret am riddled with fear and low confidence, and petrified he is going to get deeply involved with this silly work girl he is attracted to - when he asks how I am what do i say?- do i be truthful at all or jsut say- "Im fine its all cool- how are you?
What do you think makes him ask you - is it in response to your sadness? Either way, you do not want to be the person he associates with personal failure. You want him to think good things when he thinks of you What does ow have that you think makes her attractive to your H?
Quote: 3. how long do i go along pretending everythings fine when i think we need to at least set a few small goals to work on- even if its just one?
Goal setting works best when you are doing it for yourself. Try not to control the pace of his changes, focus on yourself.
This can be done, but you need a lot of patience. And the book. I got mine on Amazon. Also, the Keeping Love Alive threads are helpful.
