hi guys- ive moved on from newcomers hoping to get some more advice- in my previous post i expained H had left for some 'time out' it absolutely killed me because this time out was for him to decide if he wanted to try & fix marriage- well, after many tears - but me pretending on phone everything ok to him- he came back home last night saying he was ready & wanted to see me. while he was out soul searching he asked me where i was and i happily said he didnt need to know and i was just out'- this killed him and he became really curious and intigued where i was.- i liked this- it showed me he did care anyways- we went out for a freinds b day drinks together and I acted all cool and mysterious and happy- didnt get into any R talks which annoyed me, but i kept my cool. H did mention he was worried to come back because 'what if' we cant fix it and he also worried that' eveyone' hates him. I just kept it breif and said we need to take little steps and not get too stressed about the 'what ifs'
there has been no R talk at all other than this. It pissed me off when out last night that while H ignoring me and in big discussion with some guy - he failed to notice that an absolute sleaze bag was flirting with me, trying to tell me to have an affair and saying really inappropriate sexual things to me. I told H about this when we left and said -'oh dont worry -they were just words' grrrr We actually slept together last night and it was quuite like old times - exciting and fun and wonderful- this hasnt happened in a long time- and i actually initiated it.
In the morning H basically ignored me- no touch, hug, kiss- anything. I kept playing it cool- had a big bubble bath and listened to music. H enthrawled in homework ignoring - so i went out. didnt say where i went- and when asked just said ' out for a coffee'
heres my questions- H knows we need to work on things but not getting into any Discussion about what we may do or anything- Im worried he thinks just being here will fix it - and when it doesnt he will run again?- is there ever a time where I can bring things up- or is that jsut scaring him away?
2. at times he asks how i am - I am terrible and cry in secret am riddled with fear and low confidence, and petrified he is going to get deeply involved with this silly work girl he is attracted to - when he asks how I am what do i say?- do i be truthful at all or jsut say- "Im fine its all cool- how are you?
3. how long do i go along pretending everythings fine when i think we need to at least set a few small goals to work on- even if its just one?
Sorry if these are dumb questions- i still dont have the book-coz none of the bookshops i went to had it- does anyone know what bookstores in Aus stock it?
H also asking if i want to do anything tonight as Im bored- I said its fine and I'll find something to do no worries- he said cool coz he needs to do homework- however I really do want to go out with him- but just trying to play it cool- how distant do you actually be? Should i have said- that would be great to go out (its just i felt he didnt want to do anything and would resent me for not getting homework done??/) - I dunno- its all so confusing! am i doin this right? xxx
