My ex and I dated for a few years before we married. Great sex!! Then we married, moved right away to Germany where he had rented a house is a small German village. I was miserable!! No one spoke English, I didn't speak German and my ex was working 10/12 hours a day. On top of that he was a home body so, weekends were spent shut up in a house in a small German village and becoming even more miserable.
I started complaining and expressing my unhappiness and he started withholding sex. I'm thinking you are in pretty much the same situation I was in. We were two very angry people...I was angry at the extreme changes in my life and my lack of control over my life. He was angry but, being raised by parents who didn't show anger he had to get back at me in an underhanded way....sending me the message that I was undesirable.
Your husband is being passive/aggresive in his response to your anger over the sexual issue. You aren't going to make any changes in the situation going about it the way you are now.
You've been angry, hurt and upset over the sex for years. You've expressed it to your husand in the same way for years. You keep getting the same results don't you? No sex and more distance in your relationship.
Do me a favor, get online and do some research on passive/aggressive behavior. Don't let some of what you read scare you cause there are some hard core haters in the world who will say that a situation like yours can't be fixed. You need to learn to communicate your displeasure to him in a way that is not threatening to him. Then you will begin to get positive results and what you want...more sex. Good luck!! Cathy
