I can speak first hand that you need to find the right fit in counselors for you....if you don't feel the C you have is working for you....then change, find one you are both comfortable with....it makes all the difference!!!
Also, if at all possible try to go together, it makes a big difference....our current C saw each of us separately for 3 times each...then started seeing us together, that way she had a very clear picture of where each of us stood in the R and what problems we had with each other, specifically....in order to be able to help guide us back towards each other. Now it's true, we still have one major problem (sex, and the lack thereof) but our communication has much improved....and now, I feel (even though things ar rough right now) that we are at the beginning of finally breaking through. I'll talk to a lampost, doesn't matter to me....I'll be as open and honest as possible in order to work things out....my H on the other hand is a tough cookie, he just won't let things out, so for us it was important to find a C he was comfortable talking to....but who would also call him on his behavior when necessary. And, keep in mind that if you do begin to see a C that this doesn't mean the problems will be solved quickly....even though you are seeing a C things can (and probably will) still take time....so try not to make your expectations too high that things will miraculously be fixed in a week, a month, or six months....k?
Believe me, I sympathize with you....I'm in your shoes and it's not a fun place to be. In fact it can be quite lonely.
