While I disagree with quite a lot of CeMar's POVs, I felt like I needed to "stick up" for him a little bit here. The feelings he expresses are extreme, but I think most of us HDs who have experienced long-term rejection understand the core of what he's saying. Does that mean that those beliefs & opinions are helpful in resolving the R problems? Definitely not! But being able to use the BB to say things that you may be feeling out of anger and frustration is beneficial, IMO. Additionally, the anonymity and lack of direct repercussions for expressing those thoughts & feelings makes it easy to "go overboard."
Having said that...
CeMar - if this is truly how you feel all of the time (and believe me, I've had those "she cares about strangers at the nail salon more than me!" moments myself), not just occassionally, then you & your S have some very significant problems that require professional help to solve. Bitterness & anger may seem like reasonable, justifiable emotions to you as a response to your SSM. Unfortunately, they won't help fix the problems - they will only drive a bigger wedge through your R. Don't be afraid to express your feelings here - that's what this BB is all about, but do recognize that if it's not just venting occassional steam, then you need to get help to save your M, or start developing an exit strategy.
