Lou,

Yikes! Didn't mean to come off so defensive! Sorry!

Quote:

If it seems I am in your face, I am not there to be mean or say you are wrong. I am being honest to show you what it feels like from my own HD mind (HD/LD being relative) I dont know how miss matched you are with your spouse. And I don't know the reasons why there is a disconnect or what his issues are that you would like to change other than the HD/LD thing.

I am looking for answers too. I have found some but right now there only seems to be more questions than answers. Many problems solved but new ones take their place. Maybe I should not be here?





Good heavens, don't go! I have to say that what you say really does resound with me, and the only reason I have been challenging myself is through reading your stories. The sadness/hurt/anger I see scared me, and for that reason I have made MANY changes at home.

Quote:

I. Lots more hormones than LD spouse.
2. Most fun I can have that is legal and very low cost.
2a. Was told sex before marriage was shameful.
3. I like ML more than any other optional activity.
3a. W can't get pregnant anymore, let the good times roll. W not interested now.
4. I sleep so much better after we have a mutual orgasam.
4a. I sleep better after having an O during LM.
4b. I sleep better knowing i have a special emotional and sexual connection with someone special.
4c. I sleep better after MBing if my partner is not interested in ML or sex.
5. I promised to forsake others and devote my time and energies to my W/BB.
6. If i have a bad day or several bad things happen to me, I can forget about them during LM.
7. I want my partner to have a good time and wish i could give some of my pleasure to them during LM.
8. Life is difficult, working in the hot sun for 8 hours seems doable when you start to think how wonderful it feels to lay together and stroke her smooth skin in the cool of the night.
8a. Those 3 nails that you missed and hit your finger instead, the two times you picked up a piece of hot metal you just cut with a tourch, that woman in a tube top (barely keeps her breasts in) that came into the shop with her short shorts on and sandals while you wore steel toed shoes and long pants, complaining about being uncomfortable because her air conditioner in her car was cool but not cold (nothing wrong with the a/c, just a hot day) are all tollerable because you can have time tonight to shower and be with your honey.
9. It is one way i feel connected to my spouse. W/O sex many things just seem like being room mates/friends, not lovers.
10. I might look at other women but i don't plan on making an emotional connection with them. I want an exclusive sex partner.





Lou, that is beautiful!!! Being LD, I don't always understand how you can always be 'up for it', but I am always glad my H still feels this way! I know he loves me, and that there isn't another girl in the world he wants to be with (Angelina Jolie aside...). I appreciate the fact that no matter how I look (after 4 babies), or whether I'm even clean, he still wants me that way! I'm just sorry I don't offer the same in return! I love him in a way I've never loved anyone. I'll never forget the way he looked holding our babies for the first time! I wish there was a pill to take to get me to your level, I'd take it!

The biggest problem I see is the fact that it isn't changing on the inside. Inside, I'm still LD, dispite all the hard work I've done. I'm trying to think sexy, read sexy novels, I'm trying a little light porn to get the 'juices flowing', but it isn't changing me at the core.

If I went away for a week without H, I'd probably never have a horney thought. Why? Why can't the feelings stick so that I don't have to think about it any more? Why do I have to keep track of the 'last time' so that it doesn't extend past a certain number of acceptable days?

Dh doesn't even initiate as much anymore... that's got to be a bad sign. I very, very rarely turn him down, and if I do I always plan another time and stick to it. Guess it's a case of too little too late in my case.

Ugh, I HATE this! Why can't I hit my sexual prime and suddenly shift in to high gear??? I remember H joking about waiting for it (I'm 35), but haven't heard that one for a long time now. Perhaps I've been a bit defensive with him too?

Jen ~who believes she is suffering right along with the HDs