Quote: But it seems every yr life just chisels away at you, and the more that you can do to stay in fun spiritedness
This is well put and exactly what happens in long term relationships (and by yourself, if you're single). This is not the same thing as "bait and switch" which is a cruel label and will not encourage much communication with your SO (CeMar!).
This is a definition of "bait and switch":
Quote: An illegal tactic in which a seller advertises a product with the intention of persuading customers to purchase a more expensive product.
also:
Sales practice where customers are drawn into a store from an advertisement for a bargain price which does not exist, is of poor quality, or is no longer available. In turn, the business tries to switch the customer to a more expensive offering. This sales practice often occurs in items such as stereos, televisions, or telephones, but can occur for low interest rates that are switched to more expensive loans. If damages can be proven, the practice can be the basis for a personal lawsuit and can be a target for a class action suit since many customers are often affected.
I think there are some people who go into a marriage PRETENDING to be or feel one way and who have no intention of keeping this up after the marriage. That level of malice is NOT what we're talking about here. If you feel your SO holds that level of MALICE and INTENTIONAL cruelty toward you, the you'd better leave the R immediately.
As for the camping... in my first marriage (in 1971) we actually went camping on our honeymoon. I thought I liked it. I thought I was supposed to like it. Not because of him, but because of the '60's "Rocky Mountain High" and all that... back to nature, yadda, yadda, yadda. I tried to like it. We camped on the beach-- yuck! Sand gets in EVERYWHERE. So it turned out I didn't like camping. It wasn't a bait and switch. I changed my mind. Now my idea of roughing it is a place that doesn't have room service.
There are things you do in the beginning of a R-- you don't intend to be dishonest, but you change. I used to go with my first husband to the hardware store, just because I wanted to be near him. I went with my second husband to Academy (he was an avid fisherman and hunter), because it was fun for him. I wouldn't have gone on my own. Was that dishonest?
The Assumption of Good Will is on shaky ground here!
Jen, please stick around. We value the LD POV very much! You too, Chrissy!
