RE: Lil As Chrissy said, when the kids are gone, some couples reconnect and rediscover those more carefree emotional times. Ideally, that's what would happen, along with taking up the piano and painbrush again. But I think the connection with your partner sexually has to be maintained in some way or you won't be able to get back there.
One person can work on getting it back but that does not mean the other spouse will be willing.
I liked Chrissy's minimum ML attitude. Less, but at least something on a regular schedule. OTH Mrs Hairdog's plan is out of line.
Sure the kids, jobs, activities, taking care of aging parents and etc reduce the carefree time but too many things come up and interfear with a "primary" relationship that was the basis to have a family in the "first place".
As a H who would like more sex/ML, I have things too that weigh on my mind that interfear with making time for my W. But I also have 20 times more sex hormones I have little control on adjusting the quanity naturally infused into my body. JJ's story about the tub filling up and needs to be drained really hits home.
MB you say? well that is like having bread and water. Calories and nutrients only. What about the rest of the emotional feelings and connection.
I feel empathy for the wonen who don't feel the emotional connection with ML because of whatever interfears with that process. I do feel your emptiness and sex just becomes another chore. What to do?
Think of something you don't like to do that your H is doing, not because he likes to do it, but because to him it has to be done.
Ladies, I am not saying get over it and just do it. I am saying think of something that is important to you and tell your H what it means to you. Help him with ideas so he knows if he does some little things differently, even if it is only onetime, you will be in a better frame of mind for at least 30 minuets.
Waiting for things to get better is a falsify some people count on. Most likely things will stay the same overall. Look for the 30 minuets of improvement.
And I will say bait and switch has been a problem in some peoples marriage like the gf that went camping with her bf before they got married but now she admits to hating camping.
I don't think most LDW intended to be that way. I know life gets in the way of our plans. All I am wanting to say is make some time for your once, primary relationship or it might be permentally damaged.
