are all more important than giving your husband what HE needs, at least from time to time.
No my H was never completely without. Sex has always existed in my marriage. There where times it was scarce maybe four times a month. But never without. These are just a partial list of the reasons why sex is not always utmost on my mind. Why sex does not cross my mind often spontaneously. And I have to be reminded of my H and his needs. Some of these things on my list made my responsibility to my children come before my H because they are not capable of taking care of themselves. Like there being sick or needing feed. Some are things I choose to put before my H. Like watching a movie with them. And see to me as wrong as it may sound to a HD. I feel I can have sex for the rest of my life. But my children are growing and soon will be gone. Every experience or event I pass up with them cannot be done later. Sorta like the handprint on the wall poem. So do I find it more important to do these things then have sex with my H oh yeah. My H and myself should have years after they are gone to be horny old folk with nothing else to do but @@ck. ALL I will have left daily after my children are gone are memories to cherish. And all they will have left of me when I die is memories of me. I want those memories to be something that they cherish and can look back on and know how much I loved them. I have never made any bones about the fact that my children are my biggest responsibility and my greatest loves. With the exception of God there is nothing that I feel as strongly about as my children. I would die for them. And can easily cry for lose of them in my daily life even though that is years to come for a couple of them.
On the flip side of my list my H could probably write a list just as endless of why his want to do this or that lacks now. And since this seems to be my primary love language would that not say he puts many things infront of my needs. His list would read something like this.
Fixing the leaky toliet does not seem as important to him as watching tv Fixing the deck rails does not seem as important as taking the kids fishing. Mowing the lawn does not seem as important as going to sons baseball games Putting his laundry up does not seem as important as taking a nap and on and on also.
So it is a case of what goes around comes around endless circle neither is meeting the others needs and putting this and that before the importance of there spouses needs. Neither partner in the R is blameless or solely to blame.
