From reading here on the BB, I guess there are numerous answers to that question, at least in the HD spouse's mind. Low hormones, no hormones, tired, lazy, crazy, nasty, bitchy... take your pick. I've read them all, and I guess I don't see anyone really 'getting it'.
See, for me (and probably many, many others), there just isn't a reason. It just 'is'... like your shoe size or hair color. I'm not thinking of sex all the time because I'm not, and whether it has to do with hormones or feeling unappreciated matters not. I can wear shoes that are a bit too small for me, or dye my hair a different color, but it all boils down to one thing, I still have size 7 feet and brown hair. Trying to change that is as futile as trying to become HD.
I'm certain that there are women out there that have managed to reprogram their heads to be HD (we have a couple here I believe), but I suspect the majority of us will always be LD. Does that mean we'll never lead a satisfying life (read: sex life) with our husbands? Gosh, I hope not! I do try very hard to keep up my end of the 'bargain', but that where it gets tricky. If I stop thinking about it, I stop doing it.
I'm certainly not trying to say that none of you HD individuals has any hope of a satisfying sex life. To the contrary, actually! But I read so many posts about the fact that desire is so important to ML, and to be honest, I don't always have desire. Not in the way that you HDs would like it to exist. I desire to make my H happy, and I desire all the things that come to me as a result of a good SL, but true desire, that thing that intrudes on your conscious, that wakes you out of sleep, that makes it hard to concentrate on your job, that doesn't exist for me in that way.
I often feel better after a couple of days of sex, and find that my thoughts are drawn to sex more often then, but again if there is a break in the 'action', then those thoughts fade away. It's really an 'out of sight, out of mind' sort of thing, whereas I believe for the HD individual, it's more on a cellular level. A true 'need' if you like.
We're not this way out of choice, nor are we trying to punish you. It's not because we love you less, or are less committed to your happiness. We don't want you to suffer, nor do we want your every day to revolve around the fact that you didn't get to ML the night before. We didn't hide this fact when you dated us, no 'bait and switch' was executed. We just are... like size 7 feet and brown hair.
Not sure what I'm trying to say in this post, but I did want to give some insight into my experiences as a LD woman, in case it helps someone understand their spouse. I'm also not speaking for all LD's, but I suspect there are more like me out there.
