Quote: (Cemar, for example thinks he knows exactly what will fix his marriage, he is in that if only she would do x stage...
Actually, I know what will fix the marriage for ME. Going through this whole process makes things clearer and clearer for me. I know exactly what I want from my marriage. What I don't know is what SHE freaking wants, and how to use that to cause her to change and do what I want.
Quote: it isn't just about sex, it is about fostering a close emotional connection.
I agree partially. She wants a better emotional connection. So do I. But emtional closeness comes from words, touching, and sex. Emotional closeness that does NOT include sex is not enough. Remember, HD people experience emotional closeness AFTER sex. Emotional closeness only on her terms is effectively NO closeness to me.
My goal is NOT to meet my needs. My goal is that BOTH of our needs will be met in full. Emotional closeness, that is a LD need. Communication that is a LD need. My needs are every bit as important as these (but not more important). My goal is a true passionate marriage, where EVERYTHING effectively is working well.
