I really do understand that desire. It feels good to be wanted and it feels good to be loved. However, what I am really hearing is: I want someone to want me exactly the way that I want them to. IMO, that is akin to unconditional love. It's not in the repertoire of adult relationships. The most we can do is request (and foster the conditions for) behavior that feels loving to us.
As soon as the line is crossed, as soon as we start longing for these unattainable things to fill the holes within us, the conversation immediately deteriorates to coercion and control. How can I convince her? How can I get leverage? Yuck.
I believe that when MrsNOP is talking about power, she is talking about the self-assurance and self-respect that we each should have as mature adults.
