If you know that you are a desire-follows-arousal person, then wouldn't it make sense to schedule sex?
What is stopping you from making a schedule--jointly with your H, so that he has input into the frequency of his own sex life--and following that and not relying on your body to tell you it's "time"?
I guess I'm thinking that relying on your body to be in the mood, when you know that it usually isn't (historically) is kinda silly. If you instead reframed that to "I know I get aroused no prob, and then the desire kicks in full force, so from now on I will allow my H to arouse me and not wait for the feeling of desire when preparing myself for sex."
I was thinking that the Just Do It method would be particularly useful for someone in your situation.
