Nice to see you posting a thread, is life getting any better in the CeMar house? Baby steps count, you know.
You wrote:
Quote: My wife would LOVE it if I accepted her for who she is, a no desire women.
CeMar, if she were perfect she would also accept that you are a high desire man. That mutual acceptance would then become an icebreaker or icemelter or something like that.
The whole concept of being perfect is a danger sign in my mind. I understand your original post, what "words do you use to describe your perfect mate?" so all of the embellishing on what she would be like is just cyber morphing of your question, but I think it's working anyways to help you and to make an interesting post. What bothers me though, is the concept of perfection. Now this is also a cyber morph, but do you really need perfection of some sort? Can you offer the same degree of perfection in return?
Bail out questions....Is all of this just rhetorical? Just asking for fun, a little mental sparring on Friday night?
I understand perfection after being raised in a family where my father was a perfectionist. It caused very high highs and very low lows. He was always riding a rollercoaster. When he succeeded at doing things exactly as he set out to do, life was good. When he didn't quite live up to his sky high goals, we all felt it.
I too am in a SSM where I am the HDH married to the LDW. I'm not interested in perfection from her or myself. But I would like to:
ML once or twice on the weekend and come away from the experience feeling loved and totally rocked.
Give my W an O that would make her feel loved and totally rocked as well.
Communicate clearly without either one of us losing our composure or ending the conversation prematurely because we can't accept what the other one is saying.
Be able to talk to her about our ML and our R as if it was natural for H and W to do so, not akward and embarrassing.
Talk to her about what's important without her finishing my sentences for me. She doesn't know me well enough to do that yet. We've only been married 27 years.
Understand her well enough to "get" her non-verbal communication.
Know what gifts to buy her for Christmas, her birthday, and our anniversary.
Have her finally tell me where her "hot spots" are.
OK, CeMar, I guess if my W and I could do all of those things together, it would be getting pretty close to being perfect.
For the perfect word to call your perfect mate, I think ZeeBube better chime in here!
WM
PS. Speeking of perfection, I'd like to find the key that would unlock her desire. When we were first married, she told me that she was afraid of becoming addicted to sex.
