CeMar, I think what you were asking is what TERM to use for the perfect mate. IOW when you say to your W, "I want you to be my _________," what term do you use to fill in the blank.
I think there is no one term that covers it all except "husband" or "wife." And then you have to explain, as honey did, that contained in that word is lover, partner, friend, companion, co-parent, soul mate, etc.
Since my bf and I are not married, I call him my bf! Sometimes I refer to him as my significant other.
As for the ideal qualities to be found in this person (which is how I think most of the posters took your question), I have described my bf in my "Reclaiming Your Sexual Self" thread-- and he is the ideal partner EXCEPT for his lack of interest in sex. Well, he claims he is interested, so let me say his lack of "action" where sex is concerned.
