Cemar, The way I explained it to MrH was to say that he was my "Husband" but that this comprised different facets of his personality. Within the Husband umbrella was also my Lover, my Companion, my Co-Parent, my Soul Mate, etc.
He agreed that a good husband would be all of these things to his wife. And vice versa.
Each of these areas should be integrated into the whole.
However, to specifically answer your question, it took me a while to get across that, yes, I want a lover but Lover means so much more than a person who puts tab A into slot B.
Keep explaining yourself to her. Wait. You ARE saying this stuff to her, right?!?!?
