Thanks Wes, I appreciate the reply. It's so hard to know what to do with an EX-spouse. Especially when there is betrayal involved. Being apart, in another state, has been very good for detaching and taking time to learn who I am without my marraige. It's complicated by the fact that my youngest went away to college the same month the divorce was final. So I am dealing with the double whammy, divorce and empty nest. But there's a real upside, at least for me. I have a comfortable income as a result of the D settlement and I live in my dream town. I imagine that grief will be with me another year. My therapist said the "acute grieving stage" lasts about two years after the D is final. But in many ways I am fine with my life now. I bought a townhome and am living by myself for the first time in my life. I am restarting a career that I pursued in fits and starts during my M. There's lots to look forward to so it's somewhat confusing to be feeling so bad in the midst of plenty, if you know what I mean.
Have you ever read Bryon Katie's books? "Loving What Is?" Her worksheets have been helpful to me during this process.
Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories on this board.
