Wish I knew what to say other than I'm sorry you find yourself here. To me it is hard to imagine making it 20+ years and then calling it quits. I think the presence of OW in the picture definitely makes this harder, even to be friends.
I guess my suggestion for what it's worth is that you continue with your GAL activities and trying your best to be happy with the way things are now. I would be a little less distant when you do have interactions. Show him how happy you are and well adjusted to this situation. I guess I'd accept whatever amount of friendship you are able. At this point you don't have much to lose by at least doing some of the initiating. For all you know he's unhappy with this situation, but his pride and fear keep him from trying for something more with you.
But I think it's important that while accepting of friendship that you have an attitude of completely moving on and accepting whatever happens.
I'm really sorry that you find yourself in this situation. I wish the best for you.
Wes
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
