No, I don't want a custody battle. When X told me what she went thru as a child at the hands of her mother, I told her that I thought her father was a coward and an @ss for not choosing the kids over his wife when he discovered the abuse. I told her I'd never have made that wrong choice, allowing the abuse to continue.
In my line of work, I've had to take part in many a case involving the termination of a parent's rights. And I take every case very seriously b/c I greatly value the presence of a parent in a child's life.
I won't be starting a custody battle unless I have verified evidence of abuse from X or MIL. Why document? So that if the need arises, I'm not unable to protect my son.
There is nothing right now that leaves me believing that a legal battle is the only route. So I'll continue to vent elsewhere - including here (so sometimes see it as just that)us, my concern for S5, my doubts about X's judgment, and my documentation.
BTW, X called me just 30 min ago to check in w/ me regarding my father's health and how I'm handling it. I had been very brief/abrupt about it when she called me at ~5pm to talk about the same thing, so she called again tonight at ~9pm. I told her it was rough, but I was handling myself fine. I didn't want her pitying or see me as weak, 'cause I'm not.
She went on to reassure me that she is not dating anyone, or going out much, saying, "I hate going out. Its disgusting, the scene is disgusting. I am dressing nicer, trying to look prettier for my own benefit."
I perhaps slipped up here and said, "X, its great that you're doing things for yourself, and its nice to hear that you're feeling good about dressing up. But the kind of man that you deserve would have thought that you were gorgeous before these changes. He would have seen your true quality regardless." She responded, "I'm not doing it to find a man. I don't want a man. I'm an angry, angry person, and all I do is run, run, run to burn it away. I'm angry at you snooping, taking my diary, ...." I apologized for hurting her feelings, but also noted that I don't have her diary.
When she asked about how I was doing, I shared abit about a few fun events in my life, like starting to sing for a small band and our schedule of playing at some open-mike events (no guitar-playing yet). I could literally hear her smile and interest when I commented on that. And the kayaking stuff. She brightened up at this as well, and shared that she's excited to go camping w/ Isaiah. Made me wonder about her highlighting shared interests w/me.
I feel very guarded around her, and maybe the talking wasn't a great idea. However, I didn't reassure her about my dating or not, and I felt relaxed as the convo went on, with my voice displaying a relaxed tone that she probably hasn't heard in about 2 months.
I'm off on a kayaking/fun trip near Savannah Thur/Fri after a morning work meeting, then I'll have S5 w/me over the weekend.
