UD, I see what you're saying about continuing on the high road. It is hard. I find myself battling daily with the urge to start up a custody battle. I've caught her in very frequent lies (not challenging her on these, just making notes of it).
Remember the night she called to say she had a flat tire? Well, she did, but the true reason she called me was b/c she had plans to go out, and did so.
I really feel for S5, as he's feeling rejected by her. Starting to experience losing his mother, with his image of her diminished in his eyes. I'm done trying to defend her to him, no more making up excuses about her behavior to him (he seems to see it as it is). I have been doing overtime talking to him about his feelings, and showering him with as much love, affection, and bonding time as I can while he's with me.
Largo, my peanut-butter moment recently happened post-snooping, but I'm still on dating sabbatical 'til I get back into my house ~3mo.
Jo, I agree, no contact other than over S5. She's initiated more than that, but I like your idea of having her digest the consequences of her actions. The judge really watered down the RO in terms of contact, but I'm taking it by its strictest read - no contact other than over S5.
Funny story: W called to harp about my taking S5 to see Star Wars b/c its a pg13 movie. I thanked her for communicating with me her concerns. I told her I was comfortable with my taking him b/c I had him walk out during the 2 parts I thought were to rough for him to see. Otherwise I was okay with it. She went on to tell me why I was wrong, and I said, "I've heard you. But I disagree. I'm confident w/ what I did, and believe it was okay." I noted that we have two different households that will hopefully have some overlap and consistency, but will have some difference as well. "For example, your leaving S5 with your parents is s/t I don't agree with, b/c they abused you, and b/c you can't guarantee that they won't abuse him." She responded, "I only left him there one night!" Lo and behold, S5 pips in from the back seat of her car "Two nights!" and X says quickly "I gotta go. I don't want to talk in front of S5." (I realized she had called from her car when this happened).
and X says quickly "I gotta go. I don't want to talk in front of S5." (I realized she had called from her car when this happened).
