Thanks Bruce and UD, Detachment is helping, but there sure is a lot of drama.
After having S5 for 2 days, W called me up this evening to berate me over "never being there" for S5. She was angry that I was not going to keep S5 overnight on Fri, and was trying to get me to switch my suggested overnight from Thur to Tue night. Only I can't 'cause I'm working late Tue night.
Then she went ballistic and hung up on me. Literally no room to DB or validate her feelings there. She was being rude and inconsiderate. I'm merely documenting things. I expect her to dump S5 at her parents for the weekend so she can continue to party or do what she's doing.
I'll be off kayaking, so I'll be fine. But I feel for S5. He's facing the harsh reality of his mother, too. At some point in the future, I hope he is showered with blessings to help compensate for all of this nastiness.
I feel down today. Spoke to my father who's recouping from his colon C surgery. The news isn't the best, and he'll face chemotherapy next. I'm feeling weaker in spirit.
I received an email from a Christian newsletter on reconciliation work - cares@rejoiceministries.org. The message today was "What do prodigals want?" They call WAS's prodigals due to the wild, less than ethical behavior of some. Anyway, here is some of the message:
"Drugs, sex, and alcohol are not "why" prodigals leave, but "how" they leave. You and I both know how temporal those pleasures can be, and so does every prodigal spouse. We make that discovery the hard way; by experience, often at the cost of family, career, health and happiness. What do prodigals want? More specifically, what does your prodigal spouse want from you? It can be summed up in one word; consistency.
I'm not sure if the truth can be simpified to that one point, but I think the authors were getting at the need for the LBS to stay consistent in pursuit of a healthy, productive life, creating a safe base that the WAS would know about, even from a distance or over time, and to whom they might eventually return.
Having always sided with the brother who remained working for the Father in the story of the Prodigal Son, I have a hard time with this story.
Applied to my sitch, I've got to clear my plate for the times agreed upon, allowing me and S5 to build our 'family' dynamic despite X's types of use or planning for such timeblocks. Worrying about that or trying to control it would be wrong on my part, or at least purposeless. BTW, I wasn't trying to control her this week by changing my schedule. Outside of my kayaking class opportunity, her RO and resultant courtdate caused me to have to reschedule a few things.
There is literally no space to explain that to her (or ability under this RO), so I won't bother to.
