I had a nice weekend with S5 - just father and son time. We both really enjoyed each others company, had fun playing. From small comments or sharing, I get the feeling that she's letting him down in his eyes. Not sure if he does the same about me to her (very possible with a child), yet it tears me up to hear about his loneliness. He seems to see her as very distracted from him, and is taking this inward as less self-worth. I really fed him lots of love and reassurance this weekend, lotsa hugs & kisses, arms on shoulders, carrying on shoulders, rough-housing. Have some nice bruises to show for it (was showing him how to punch & kick as part of our 'contact' play, with my body as the body bag. ).
Anyway, quiet otherwise. X is calling and abruptly asking for S5. At dropoff this am, (I chuckle to see W having to haul her a$$ out of bed and pjs to drive to a parking lot - she created a nice headache for herself with this RO), I said 2 words - hello and goodbye - no checkin re S5 or hows it going. Legally, I'm barred from doing so at her request.
She looked puzzled, like I'm being a jerk about things, but surely she knows the legal consequences of the RO? This is putting quite a damper on DBing, as well as creating a 'must' level of distancing. Wes, yep this is sure helping my detachment.
In my past snooping, I saw clear signs of full-blown MLC with X having run thru half of the $40 K she got as a buyout, leaving her much less that she intended for downpayment on her condo, furniture and living expenses. On top of that, she has accrued several thousand in cc debt again in those 4 months (6-9K). Literally, her lifestyle seems to reflect a pretending that she still has my income coming in at her disposal. This woman I thought I knew is heading to financial dispair very quickly. With that, on top of her partying late every free evening, she's going to look and be rough very quickly. There's no amount of surgery, etc.. that can neutralize those types of choices. I hope she doesn't have to fall too far before hitting her bottom.
My job is to keep my focus on myself, keep improving and working hard on my career, and once in the house, make it into a nice family escape that I had intended.
Going on a kayaking training/adventure this weekend. Have bought new tropical colored shirts. Wore one today, got a compliment from an attractive mother of a client today. I thanked her for 'noticing' and she proceeded to flirt with me more. A nice PMA booster for the start of the week.
). 
