Good to see you back on the BB and to hear that your trip was a semi-respite from the sitch.
I agree w/Bruce. Dont' bother trying to analyze her. Merely stay in the moment, keeping your PMA as high as possible, and try to just enjoy those contacts. I just can't imagine such positive interactions at this point in my sitch.
I think you're doing a marvelous job with D3. I was moved by your description of her pain. There's nothing that gets to me more than seeing S5 hurting from this. Keep doing the best that you can for yourself and D3, UD.
