Well, well, well....breaking (literally) news folks. WAW came by office today and told me she was going to see the lawyer this afternoon. We sat and talked for 3 hours about everything. It was a good talk. W told me a lot about her feelings and I told her a lot about mine. There were many long hugs, plenty of tears (from her).
We talked candidly about the cycle of pressure-recoil that we had both fallen into. She said she was extremely frustrated with it and that she did not know any other way out than to go through with the D. I said that I could not stop her but this is not what I want. There was still an open-endedness to this whole thing. I told her I forgived her, that I loved her dearly and that I would like an R with her. She said likewise.
I asked what would change from here on out and she said nothing, that she would still like us to spend time together and all that. It almost seemed like she needed the D to relieve pressure on her. She had a lot of good things to say about me this time around and I validated her like crazy. I told her I forgave her, said the separation had actually been good for me, it had helped me grow. And she said she had noticed the growth and that I am a different person now. We talked about what each of us had done wrong in the past few years and what both of us should have done, without finger-pointing and admitting to things about ourselves freely.
I thought our conversation was very good, almost cathartic. And then she left to go meet the lawyer. So, folks, I guess I am now officially a card-carrying member of the divorced-but-not-done club. I dont know where this bucking Bronco is heading anymore but I am still in the saddle hanging on for dear life. I feel surprisingly calm.
Sorry Wes, you are not going to get rid of me just yet, not to the piecing forum at least.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
