Gabe does not make any good points, mine are the only good ones; do not listen to those others.
Actually, the more I roll this around and strangely enough I think I give your confusing relationship with your X more thought than I do my own, the less and less I understand.
My guess is she wants Wes to be available, to hang out, to walk with, to come by his house (even if he is not there), to still do family stuff without the family "stuff." In this scenario there is an emotional attachment without the emotional daily mess of dealing with children, housework, schedules, friends, family, money, laundry and all the other.
