There are, as I see it, two ways to go. One, continued to play married, (which is what you are doing), accepting and offering invites, let her have run of the house, collaborate on household issues, chores, etc, without any of the additional emotional and physical benefits, but also without the daily conflict.
Or, you can completely separate your lives, taking away her access to the house, do not participate in anymore of her families activities, stop all non-necessary communication, not asking for or accepting help with things needed to be done around the house and of course NO physical contact.
She's still playing married and you are still playing in hopes she once again wants to be married.
Or maybe and I guess this is what you are trying to achieve, find some balance.
