And no I didn't forget about you. And NO you are certainly not damaged goods. It's just these guys I'm talking to...they just live closer. I knew you'd understand.
So, did you get it all out of your system? I can't believe you did that. I really don't know what to say about it so I'll just be here for you to listen...
My night you ask? Okay, I'll share... I went out with T again. We bowled a few games (I spanked him) (in bowling, not literally. ) then we grabbed a burger and shot a few games of pool at a local pub. I held my own there too, but only because we are both bad at pool.
Do you know what? OMG!!! He tried to kiss me. I guess I should expect that, but geeze, it's only the second time we've met. Of course, I turned away.
Why is it that when my online profile says "I'm only looking for friends" that a guy still thinks I would be interested in kissing? Can you shed any light on this at all???
Yeah, out of my system. Everything has just felt like a game or make believe. She feels I'm mad at her if I'm too detached or if I don't contact her. I guess I was just setting the record straight only to now give her immense space.
Now onto more important matters...you!! I guess I am a little far for bowling and pool, but you'd love Bismarck. Sounds like a nice night, up until the inevitable.
Quote: Why is it that when my online profile says "I'm only looking for friends" that a guy still thinks I would be interested in kissing? Can you shed any light on this at all???
As you said. That's to be expected. Did you indicate on the profile that you were looking for female friends? I seriously doubt you will find someone on a match-type site that isn't interested in more; he probably assumed you meant "girlfriend". That would have been my take on it. I doubt I would have tried to kiss you the second time we met, especially if the first was just an uncomfortable cup of coffee (I don't know what your first meeting was). But that's just me, I'm pretty slow moving unless I'm wasted. I'm sure you were just way too hot to go unkissed.
And me? What did my night consists of after unabashedly, loquasciously, and more than likely deleteriously beseeching my demure ex-wife to deign to recant her obstinate stance and reciprocate my affections? I flipped through a book on the 1200 essential words I should know, obviously. he he he
Thanks for visiting me.
Wes
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
I think she's more interested than she lets on, and I can't see anywhere where you blew it. So you persued her, but she wasn't exactly kicking and screaming, was she? And she knows you love her anyway, so you're not telling her something she doesn't already know.
I know with DB'ing we're not supposed to pursue and most people I say don't, but your XW responds to you most of the time so I think your case is different.
And if you want a bit of space from her, fair enough.
Good morning (or afternoon to you Jo). I'm good this morning. Bruce, I wonder that myself...why would she care if I was mad at her? And I don't know why I didn't use that word.
Jo, part of my problem when I'm around her is that I get this sense that she cares, but doesn't want to let herself. I still feel her head tells her that for various reasons that we won't work. I guess that's why I try to reason with her. It's not her heart I'm trying to get through to, it's her head. I'm probably wrong. Why would I think she could be talked into a new R with me? She divorced me.
Oh well, I had the "deep" conversation, but I ended it with a mischevious grin and she should know that I'm not hurt by any percieved rejection. What's good about this whole thing is that I truly feel bulletproof. She is incapable of saying or doing anything that will hurt me enough to return to the pitiful early days.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Except I would like to point out that it isn't through words that you affect someone's mind, it's through actions.
You can bring her round to having an R with you by the way you are with her, then she will see for herself all the plus points of being with you and may well relax into being with you.
Words and trying to reason with her and not going to make that happen and are not proof that it is how you say it is and might come across as nagging.
Just be the new you around her and if any physical contact happens, go with the flow and don't analyse it or have 'no sex' discussions, just let it happen like you did when you were dating.
I like Jo's point about using action rather than convo to show her that you're safe. I also think that she's very drawn to you.
Her getting stuck on whether a M in general can work for her is her stuff to figure out, her issue. Leave that to her, with you merely continuing with GAL work and staying positive around her.
BTW, I got your message and will try you this weekend.
Hope you are having a good weekend. I'm going to visit my mom this coming week so might not have any posts. I'm afraid she'll bust my chops to even think about DBing.
Interesting developments, I guess, this weekend.
Okay, so Friday was the pursuit and hurting her feelings. Then Saturday I apologized again for saying what I did about her behavior towards my kids. She said "what brought this up all of a sudden?" Which is what she asks when she's suspicious of something. Apparently she badmouthed me to a friend in an e-mail and then accused me of reading it. Funny, all that time of snooping and when I don't she accuses me and won't accept an honest answer. Go figure.
Anyway, I was P.O.ed and didn't answer several calls last night. I ended up going to a movie and then out to a bar or two. Some fun there, but not great.
Today I pick up my X's neice to work with her on her volleyball serves. I still hang out with her family and they treat me well so it's not unusual that I'd do stuff with any or all of them. I thought niece would be a little uncomfortable with just me so I did call X who came over.
After that we all went out to brunch. Her whole family and me. She asked about this uncoming vacation of mine and if I was going camping with the boys. Essentially she said her son really wanted to go. None of this is his fault so I said if she was fine with it and her D didn't want to go also then I guess he could go. It might be weird having him at my mom's since he's not step-grandson anymore, but I guess it will be okay. What do you think?
After brunch I brought a mattress over to Xs and took a larger one back and then went and picked up a headboard with ex-FILs help. Then we went golfing. She called during the midst of that to say thanks for lunch. She called numerous times today about whether her S was going or not. First he wasn't going, then he was, then he wasn't, and I guess now he is. She also called and asked if I would look at her eye. I guess it was really sore after putting in some bad contacts or something.
I don't know. Maybe she was ok today because she wanted something. There will come a time when ex-ss will have to come to the realization that our vacations are just for us, but maybe not this summer giving all they've gone through in the last six months and because they never wanted this and still make efforts to push their mom and me together.
Well have a great week everyone. I'll check in from time to time. I'm sure you will miss my invaluable advice, but you'll just have to get Gabe to give you the best advice. Oh, and Bruce will have to take over my position as most flagrant pursuer.
Sorry Beth we didn't get that date again this weekend. We'll have to work on that later. Feel free to keep looking around and local options, but you won't find any as good as me, unless it's some of my fellow DBers. j/k (not really)
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Quote: It might be weird having him at my mom's since he's not step-grandson anymore, but I guess it will be okay. What do you think?
This one I can comment on. I don't know how close your parents were/are with her kids, but if they were even a little, then please urge your parents to continue that bond with her kids. When XH and I were separated last summer his dad decided he no longer was going to have anything to do with my D (D10). This really hurt her feelings and she didn't understand why. (This mad had been her grandfather for almost five years at this point, she was only 5 when he came in to her life.) So if there is a bond there, I would try to help it continue.
I went out with T again. We bowled a few games (I spanked him) (in bowling, not literally. 
) then we grabbed a burger and shot a few games of pool at a local pub. I held my own there too, but only because we are both bad at pool. 
he he he