I wanted to make a quick comment on dating, etc. And I also wanted to see if I could get my name on every thread.
I indicated a while back when I was watching my Xs kids that I made as though I had a date planned which was why I needed to take off. Her response was "good. Good." when she thought I was off to a date. Anyway, this weekend when I was hitting on her she said "I thought you had a date this weekend. How did it go?" Now do you suppose that means "I thought once you started dating that you'd quit hitting on me."? or what? Just a thought.
Oh yeah, I wanted to post a little insight into my Xs mind which may be extrapolated to your own spouses. I probably shouldn't have snooped, but it does kind of confirm my feeling as to what is happening with her. It's an e-mail to one of her friends....(I am so evil, but I just wanted to see if I could understand her. I do sympathize with her feelings)
Quote: I have really had a hard time with finding the wherewithall to talk to you about this. I haven't been myself. Wes and I are divorced and I have had such a low self esteem from the whole deal. The voice inside me has been telling me that since I couldn't do marriage twice, I'm a failure and I don't like to think what people might think of me so I've pretty much closed off to everyone. Everyone... except for my kids and my family. Now that I've had some time to let things absorb, I'm feeling differently. I'm coming to terms with the way things went down and how they ended up and I'm starting to let things go that have been holding me down. I'm sorry. So sorry that I've been so distant but I don't think I'd have been any good talking to you about any of this because I just didn't have it in to do that. I think I'm finally at a place where I can now. I don't mean to blow anyone off and I wasn't trying to, I think I was just traumatizing myself, if that makes any sense.
Please let me know how you guys are doing. I am so sorry I've been quiet. I don't have any other excuse for myself except for feeling so out of sorts. I'm glad that I'm feeling better. I've kept your e-mail on my mail page and I look at your name every day and I've tried to work up the nerve to write but I'm sure it's hard to understand what I'm trying to say. I just haven't been myself that way. But, as I say, I've finally gotten back to being more of myself which I'm grateful for. I think I hit a low that I am not used to... but don't worry, I'm alright! Or getting a ton better.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
