You're describing the self-focus of the WAS very well.
I wonder if the garage-door opener represents the door cracked open in your sitch... BTW, I don't have an answer for you, just ponderings. IMHO, the safe, stable home and Wes to return to are your cards. You can move on while communicating some access.
Now, if you were in a new R or she was running havoc over your private life - checking out your emails/bills, if her kid is eating you out of house and home, etc... - then that might call for stiffer fence-building. But I'm not sure your current status calls for that. Does it?
Instead, I see a woman loitering, shifting thru the ashes, trying to make sense of her decisions and actions, like a lost soul haunting a house. Except that she's very much alive, and can readily come back to you if she stumbles upon and admits to a clearer view of reality.
