I'm not close by. I'm in North Dakota. Get the MI DBers together and do the Vegas trip. Where in Michigan are we talking? Sometime I'll take you up on the offer for get togethers with fellow DBers and just fly there some weekend.
Here's my update for the night.
X called about walking the dog. And coincidentally wondered if "I'd do her a favor. Watch the kids while she went to the gym". I'm starting to suspect that the only reason she calls is to ask for something. Again...all about her.
The walk was uncomfortable. We lost some of the comfort level over the dark time. I didn't want things to get too familiar. I just focused on having fun with her kids and basically engaging her in convo very infrequently.
After the walk I took her kids to dinner while she went to the gym and then I took them down to the river. She was taking quite a while. I was meeting someone for drinks at 9 and she was nowhere to be seen. I finally called and left a message that I needed to get going at 9. She said.."so you got a hot date?" I didn't answer, but she assumed I did have a date and said "good good". Blah!! Whatever. She can act like she's good with it if she wants.
Another interaction...another time that was more distant than last month. But I think I needed to take a step back from physical contact and appearing interested in order to get long term gains. I'm pretty sure that I need to get her thinking I don't want her in order to have any hope. If I have any hope. Being with her isn't having nearly the effect on me it used to. I did enjoy the time with the kids and they enjoyed the time with me. Too bad my X threw it all away and probably can't get it back. She did thank me for giving her a break.
She did lie about what she was doing all that time. She said "I fell asleep. I laid down for a bit and just fell asleep." I think she was actually on a call with a friend (a girl) and maybe didn't even go to the gym. She was in workout clothes but didn't look like she worked out.
I think I'll go through the rest of the week without anything more. If I have no plans I'll make some up. If she'd prefer I date then so be it. As I said...she needs to take the initiative including making improvements.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
