Waitting a day or two to find the right time and mood to have this kind of conversation is understandable. You want to be relaxed and have your H relaxed to be in the right mindset to make this a comfortable conversation.
I think it is great that you are going to make this step. That you have decided to invest your time and energy into trying to make your M more healthy. And sitting down and setting some boundries in the very begining is a awesome approach I believe so both parties know where they stand and what the can expect from each other.
I only to well understand the comment you made about your H finally noticing how messed up your R was to decide he wanted to work on it. It is a shame so many times it takes cutting them off to make them open there eyes. And I believe it is very common that people have to resort to this to make there P realize they are unhappy. I know my H thinks we are fine as long as we are having sex. He never looks any deeper into our relationship or life then that. Sad but oh well Have you set any goals for yourself yet? If so I would love for you to post them. It will allow others to give you a pat on the back for progress or a red warning flag for backslides. We all need the encouragement we get from this board.
Hope you had a wonderful day.
Nightrunner You posted.
never understand what is so hard about that
Did you ever have a friend or family member you were close to but as time went by and both of you changed. This person did things that maybe you did not agree with in your life ie drugs,stealing,cheating on there spouse or even a personality change like they thought they had become the Jones and others were below them. They became someone you had fond memories of the past with but did not look forward to spending time in the present or future with? Do you want the same things you wanted when you were 18? The same model car the same style clothes the same job the same hairstyle the same deoderant? Have you ever saw something advertised and bought it to find it was not really what you wanted? Have you ever thought you would enjoy a sport or activety like golf and then tried it to find it was lackluster? Did you ever volunteer to do something or get a job or project that seemed easy enough to only find out afterwards there was more to it then you thought?
If you can say yes to any of these things then figuring out whats so hard about this should be easy.
