Wow Chrissy, it's like we have lived the same life. Pretty much everything you said I can relate to with my M.
And thanks to everyone who is sharing with me.
I also kept thinking last night after posting. I need a brain transplant, lol. A brain with all the old memories and resentment deleted so we can start again with a clean slate. I think I will start with telling H about how he made me feel all those times and go from there. I know he is absolutely committed to making things work so I'm sure baby steps is better than nothing in his eyes.
Never having any other sexual relationships has perhaps made things more challenging as it feels like the blind leading the blind if you kwim.
We have been together 13 years, he's 33 and I'm 32 (married 6) and honestly, before the kids came along we didn't have many arguments about anything. I guess a lot of things happened in the last 6 years though. From Nov '99 - Sept '03 I had 3 miscarriages and 2 babies so things during that time were turbulent to say the least. After our 1st was born (he's 4 now) I found out that H had a temper and had absolutely no idea about how to control it. He always threatened to break things and often did but never hurt me physically. He was a name caller. This to me was more hurtful than anything. Things can be replaced or fixed, but being called a f****ing bitch, cold fish etc just cuts you to the core - a total lack of respect. I mean, can you really believe it when they say after things have cooled down that 'I didn't mean it, I was angry'?
Geez, I've been blabbering! Sorry!
I will start trying to erase those past hurts from now on and hopefully little by little those loving feelings will return.
Thanks for listening. Hope all is going well with you guys.
