Welcome to the board. There are really a lot of good people here. Some blunt like me, others more able to see the emotional side of the issues.
Re: SadFish Sometimes I just wish he would leave and then I wouldn't have to deal with the issue.........Don't get me wrong, I do love my husband, I just don't enjoy sex Sorry you are having trouble with the physical side of this love and biological activity. Do you want to fight about this issue until someone leaves? How flexable do you think you could be to try somethings for a month or two. Some things will work better than others. Just because you try things, it does not mean they have to be forever.
I don't miss it one bit. Your H does. A marriage is about two people and the kids, not just about one person. I am not saying your feelings don't count.
My desire started diminishing probably 5 or 6 years What did you feel 7 years ago? Your H most likely still feels the way he did about sex 7 years ago. That is a tough position for a man to be in.
Other than the kids, what changed in the last 6 years? Lots of people have kids and still have time for sex and many ML, the good kind of sex. What is missing from the R that might get the two of you back on track and the train at least moving? Stationary trains get hit and de-railed sometimes.
Do you feel like you count in the marriage? Any drinking, drugs, porn, abandnment issues, do you do most of the work around the house and work too? Is H gone a lot. How much time do you spend together (one book recomends 15 hours a week). Touching during the day? What part of intercourse (IC) is the worst? Warm-up time or just quickies for him? If no or little IC, do you offer an alternative like a hand job?
I can handle honest feedback I am asking honest questions. I suppose you can handle them. No one knows enough about your situation to give good answers. I don't want to shoot without seeing the whole target. It's not fair to you or us on the forum.
I read Michelle's book "Divorce Remedy" by Michele Davis and "Passionate Marriage" by David Schnarch are two good books to read. Please read both of them.
You might want to read hairdogs post to see what it feels like when men are in a sex starved marriage. Honeypot is a woman who was sex starved and likes to ML 3 times a week. It works both ways.
I am not on your H side or your side. I like to see couples work out something so they stay together. I don't think 2X a year is enough to keep a marriage together.
