Not just a emotional support system that became more then just casual friends. But you cannot be personal with someone for so long and it not become... Urgh personal. How do you feel about that?
My WS and I have agreed that she will not have any contact with the OM or his wife, who were supposedly old friends, unless I am involved in the contact (this is what Shirley Glass recommends in "Not Just Friends"). We have had no contact with them; I have never spoken with them or met them and don't want to. I have to trust my wife that she has had no contact with the OM on her own. When she read the letter that the OM wrote to his wife after his wife discovered the affair, my WS was upset to discover that the OM had regarded her as "free pornography". But she didn't seem that upset; at least didn't show any emotional reaction, to me anyway, just said she was angry with him.
I am not sure what you are saying? Are you advising me to look to get out of the relationship? Or keep my eyes open for any sign of slipping on my WS's part? I believe she is truly sorry; that she does not have any intention of reconnecting with this OM. I believe my best course right now is to work to restore my marriage and whatever trust I can find in it. My WS is at least on the surface willing to try as well. I am of course not as trusting as I was 7 months ago, but am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
