TS - thanks for the honest reply. You make alot of interesting comments I must say.
I just wanted to say that I agree with what Chrissy said that I have a lot of anger about relationships.
Now that is true honesty and maybe your anger with this make you have a different outlook and opinion than most here, that is fine but you may find that you get more responses by friendly interaction first. Just a suggestion.
the adoration that BF gets when he puts forth his ideas about male superiority and dominance and female submission; the hero worship that Uncle NY gets when he analyzes and spins his webs around the girl he tried to control and then couldn't;
Yes I am sure that makes you mad and I think that is b/c you can't believe people like that deserve that adoration. Especially when you haven't and you feel you are a better person than them but again that comes down to what individuals want. (It wouldn't suit me to dominating, I agree it is a partnership)
You know I could be so wrong but I will tell you what I got from your last post. I got someone who is so badly hurt by the betrayal that his W inflicted upon him when he didn't deserve it, that he has a certain amount of bitterness b/c of this and harbours alot of anger.
Now TS this is not a personal attack on you at all, I am just saying this is what I interpreted from your post and like you say they are just words and they don't affect you (that's not quite true though is it)
Anyhow I truly think you have alot of healing to do. You like all the people here have been hurt. Accept that and try and deal with your hurt but move on. I really feel that you haven't been able to come to terms with how this has happened to you when you feel you did everything right.
You know what you very well may have done everything right, but you know that doesn't guarantee you anything. My H had an affair with someone 10-11yrs older than him from his work. This apparently was going on for 3yrs before he left me. When he left me he didn't mention an OW.
This came out eventually and for about the last 6 months my H has gone up and down round and round and backwards and forwards between me and the OW. He has now decided to end the A with OW and give our M a proper chance at reconciliation. Will this work I dont know yet, but my point is I still don't understand how his mind has worked but I had to do some investigating into my own short comings and what I may have done to contribute to the fact that he seeked solace in another's arms. I can now see area's I probably needed to work on and I will never understand why he didn't talk to me about this rather than choose the option he did but as they say we can control ourselves and nobody else.
You may never understand other people but you can always try, I believe you have a long way to go as you need to look inwards first at yourself, the way I had to before you can move on. Try and take a step outside yourself and analyse yourself a bit, you might be amazed at the realisations you come up with. This may soften the hurt a little and give you a little more understanding. You can then apply the 180's that are required.
I know this has been long winded and I could ramble on and on but probably about the same stuff so I hope this is clear as I can get off the track sometimes and I don't proof read my posts. If not feel free to ask what I meant and I will be happy to explain myself.....KDU
