So, more journaling. My WS and I are going to continue our MC; I asked for a short dialog with my WS and told her I wanted us to re-begin the MC (we had let it lapse during the summer for about a month). I said it was very important to me, because if we let the MC go, we would lapse back into the patterns we had before the bomb was dropped and I didn't want that. My WS seemed to want to continue the MC as well and we set our appointment for next week. That wasn't much of a confrontation. I think my WS had just let it slide because of all the work and busyness that always accompanies starting school again. So we are continuing the Imago work again.
I still feel guilty about not telling my WS about all I post here. I feel we must build the windows and doors that Shirley Glass talks about in "Not Just Friends". Windows to let in all everything between us; doors to keep others from knowing out most intimate secrets. I signed up with match.com to see what Uncle NYS looks like (NY, you savage stud, you). I also couldn't resist looking at some W's who post from the Atlanta area. Some looked really attractive. I don't think I would comfortable dating or being involved in a romantic relationship with someone who is much younger than myself (58). Possibly because of shared experiences or shared outlooks on life, I don't know. But I am just speculating; I am still 100% committed to rebuilding and keeping my love with my WS - 4.5 months after the bomb dropped.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
