The Phoenix part of my name has to do with the state I was in when I came to this web site. I felt things had came crashing down and was burning up and I was hoping I would be able to come out of the ashes. I actually live in the Northwest, we will probably see 3 digits, but it will cool down at night. Spark has to do with my career(EE).
Sunday was a good day for me. Due to prayer and study I found renewed commitment and a clearer view of what the Lord asks of me. I will focus on what I need to do, treat W with love and respect and let the Lord work with W in his own time and way. He is starting to touch her life, I just need to be patient and let him do what is right. Right now I feel I can hold my head high and answer to the Lord proudly for the effort and commitment I have put into this M.
It has been a long year, but I can see the progress and am not about to give up. Early on, in the darker days, somehow wife felt I should leave. Even though she was the ILYB.... having an EA, she felt that it was best for all if I should leave, I said I was not going to leave. As some of our friends/acquiantaces have slowly figured out that things were not good, all have said, "you're not going to leave are you". I have reassured them that I am not. A few have gone as far as to say, "those kids need your solid consistency". Even her parents who haven't (or don't want to) figured it out, see that I am a better S than their own D. Last night FIL ask W, ____ has been to our house and helped out, we haven't seen you in about 2 months. (They live 40 miles away). Kept a great poker face on that one.
Even though the hurt has been tough, I do still pray for my wife. I try to treat her with respect. When I pray with the kids, I make sure they include her in their prayers. Will she let the Lord guide her, time will tell. Hopefully pride and negative influences will not destroy this R and family.
