Quote: I feel I am just ripping the band-aid off the wound every time she sends me a scrap of hope.
Ouch. That is exactly how I have felt. My situation was actually progressing very well until I became anxious and impatient. It seems every little bit of progress or scrap of hope leaves me wanting more. Sometimes I think it is best for us to take breaks from the situations. I have needed some time lately to relax without worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing. And the only way to do that is to avoid being around my H. At one point in time he was avoiding me and now I am trying to avoid him. Time away seems to help put things in perspective.
It's still hard because the life we want to have isn't possible right now. Even when you get out and get involved in things and spend time w/friends there is still that ache of wanting to share those things w/the WAS. So there's really no way to get a complete break from the situation. But I think limiting contact w/the other person can help to diminish the extreme ups and downs. Maybe going dark for some time will allow that scab to progress to a scar.
Good luck with the surgery. I think your wife still cares about you -- if she didn't she wouldn't have offered to take you for the surgery. It's not were you want her to be but it's a step in the right direction.
