Quote: My usual response is to be friendly and happy, should I 180 this and be a bit of an ass? I don't ask about OM. I don't pressure to call me, what should I do? I have always given her her freedom to decide. Should I be more forceful?
My opinion is NO -- all of these things will push her away -- trust me -- did them all and it didn't work.
Just an observation -- your XW has contacted you a few times lately. Instead of being satisfied with that, you want more -- I'm not condemning you for that as it is totally normal to feel that way. I finally realized that about myself -- I was always wanting more. And that made me appear to be needy and clingy to my H which pushed him away. I finally realized that I needed to be satisfied with what I was getting if I wanted a chance at him coming home.
Right now you have two choices -- 1. pursue her and push her away --or-- 2. continue to back off, find it in yourself to be patient, and wait for her to continue to come to you.
When you didn't respond to her, she contacted you again -- use that to your advantage. What you've been doing seems to be beginning to work for you. Instead of changing that and doing the opposite, I suggest working even harder at being friendly, carefree, happy, and most of all patient. Don't analyze why she might have called you, just enjoy the phone call. Don't worry about what she might be doing or who she might be with. Use this time to get yourself back together so that when things progress for you, you are ready to spend time w/her without pushing her away. I didn't do that, so when my H started calling me everyday and coming to visit frequently, I was still hurt and angry and it showed. So once again, I pushed him away. (Just sharing my mistake so others can learn from it)
So what are you doing to have fun and enjoy your life? Are you still thinking about the motorcycle? Saw a Harely display at the mall today -- they were pretty cool. Do you go out w/the guys? Have anyone to spend your free-time with?
I know going out w/others doesn't take away the feelings of missing her and wanting to be with her. I feel the same way -- I go out and I've really been trying to increase my social life -- but it doesn't fill the gap left by my H. Then that's were I have to look at the big picture and see that eventually all of this will be behind me and I will either be back w/my H or I will have moved on to bigger and better things. And eventually you will too!!
