I'm glad you're out and about and spending time w someone close. I guess NOT calling is a 180 then...GOOD. Are you shopping? I know there is a big mall there.
I am in that SAME boat. My XW tells me that she loves me, but not romantically anymore. I asked her if that means we are done for good, over, done with. The she says she is not going to close the door on any possibility because you never know what can happen in life. That makes me hopeful, but confuses me. I love you, but I don’t love you, but you never know what’s going to happen. I hate it! Sometimes I feel she is playing games, other times I think she is confused, other times I am downright pissed. Brother my heart is torn up as well. I know exactly how you feel. This has been going on since May. All of my get back together talks with her, sex 3 times back in July, cards, flowers—none of it works. She’s been dating as well, but she got burned and guess who’s shoulders she came crying on? Man that was like a corkscrew right through my heart, but I was glad that it didn’t work out. This is what I am doing now; after reading DB I am doing the 180, I’ve slipped a few times, but lately I have been adamant about it. You see, I have to see her every day because we have 2 kids together and exchange them every day. So unfortunately it leaves an opening for me to slip. But I have been stronger, but brother it hurts. She needs the space and so do I. I know for a fact that as much as I want her back, if we were to get back together tomorrow, it would not work out. I am hopeful as you are, but I really think it will be a year or two before we ever get back together if ever. I have to work on the changes that I need to make. I cannot just declare that I’ve changed; she needs to see that I’ve changed and it can’t happen overnight as much as I wish it could. I have a very hard time with patience. I'm grateful for your posting, now i know I'm not the only one. I feel for you bro and I’m routing for you!
I'm sorry your feeling so bad -- I wish I could wave a magic wand and take everyone's pain away. I don't have any advice to give....... it seems everyone else has done a good job of that. I'd like to say it will get better -- but I'm not so sure of that right now myself. Anniversaries make us all crazy....
Quote: I know WaW is wondering if I am going to call today
No, you don't. You have NO idea what she is doing or thinking or wondering. The sooner you let go of the I wonder what she is doing, the quicker you get your life back.
I see a LOT of hope for your situation if you honestly, sincerely, diligently back off, get happy and move on. If your wife is going to come back to you it is only going to be when she sees that you are happy. You can't pretend to be happy - that won't work. You can't pull the wool over her eyes - she's been married to you - she knows you. When you are happy and have your life together, she will be interested in you again, provided she hasn't fallen in love with someone else by then.
Your wife left you because she was sad. She left because she ran out of steam, she ran out of passion - and she thought that if she left you she could find passion elsewhere. She also figured she had her own problems and you couldn't fix them for her - so maybe someone else could fix them - she's found out that's not the case and she's out there waiting. (She's on her own journey to figure out that SHE is the only one who can solve her problems, but that doesn't concern you right now)
The way you have responded has confirmed to her that she made the right decision. She told you the behaviour that was making reconciling difficult for her in the e-mail she sent you that said don't leave me divorce liturature.
The best thing you could do is to buy your motor cycle, get the cabin you've been thinking about and show her that you are happy, together and able to live without her. It's the only way you'll get her back.
These are hard words - but believe me, it's the only way.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
XW called on Monday. I didn't take the call. She left a message, wanted to "TOUCH BASE" with me.
I asked for 1 1/2 yrs for us to go on a vacation to relax and respark/rekindle and she couldn't think about that. Kinda pisses me off she can go on vacation with someone else over our anniversary. Touch base my a$$.
I still feel like crap DE, but thanks for asking.
Jak466
State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
Del Griffith: Yes sir. Yes. Yes I do. I mean she may not look like much but she'll get you where you wanna go.
If you have followed my sitch, I can use your help.
This past Sunday was my anniversary. My XW was on vacation with someone else and didn't return till the day after. I was really put out and bummed.
I didn't call like I normally would...180.
She called me on Monday to "Touch Base" but I didn't take the call. Wanted to ignore her.
Yesturday, I recieved an email from her that is kinda weired. I know we are not to read into things to much but there is things she is saying that she hasn't said in over two years to me.
I will post the email and hope you can help me figure out what technique I should be using. I want to win her back. I have been the good friend when I haven't been pushing and this week I was going to use the no contact but not sure if that is the right course now.
Here is the email:
Hey,
Don't know how often you check email but thought I'd drop a line since I haven't heard back from my phone call. Unless I've got your work schedule wrong again, looks like you're back to work on Thurs. Hope you're not still in so much pain and that it's not infected or anything in addition.
Rose is holding up well (still). Been trying to take good care of it. Looks and smells really nice. Also carrying the angel in my purse. Thanks again.
Thought you'd like to know the girls have hookworms. Caught it early enough they'll be okay. Just have to keep up with scoopin' the poo and giving meds.
Got your check in the mail. Sure you don't want to hang on to the money a little longer?
Also got a message from Catherine's office about an opening for you. Are you doing okay? (This was our MC. She called our old number by mistake)
Going to be a crazy month until returns are due. Will be working a lot I'm sure.
Talk soon.
Miss you... (Hasn't said this in over two years)
I don't know if I should call her or email with short responses or just ignore it all together.
Wes, any advice? Anybody, any advice?
Jak466
Jak466
State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
Del Griffith: Yes sir. Yes. Yes I do. I mean she may not look like much but she'll get you where you wanna go.
You're still dealing w/tons of emotions, so it's ok to feel like crap. Just take good care of yourself.
I wanted to mention s/t to you here in regards of getting your stuff back from the ex. As I said it took me over 4 mos to get up the nerve and collect my things as it felt like shutting that door. Funny thing now is that I've had two boxes of 'things I may want' sent/brought to me since! All this stuff was actually trash that was 'going to be' thrown out the day after I moved out. Hmmm?
That's ok to not take her call. Let her wonder about you for a while and keep your focus on you. T
Are you shopping? I know there is a big mall there. 