Quote: I havent followed your sitch. Do you have a link? What happened that your wife became your XW?
Yeah, I have a thread here in the divorced section. My XW had a brief EA with an internet person she never met. Immediately after she dropped the bomb and said the infamous "I love you but I'm not in love with you." Turns out the person she was e-mailing wasn't the person she thought it was and it ended after I sent a nastigram to the person. It didn't change things. My XW had reasons that went beyond any EA, mainly problems that related to her kids and me. We stayed friends throughout the separation and at one point talked about moving back, but it never materialized. But because we stayed friends we did have talks about why things would be different this time, but I think she was just convinced that D was the right thing. This I believe was mainly because she thought I wasn't a good step-dad, even though they like to hang out with me, stay the night, give me hugs etc. I don't know...just the typical WAW I guess. My grasp of do and don't of communication come almost exclusively from what hasn't worked for me and reading what hasn't worked for others.
I would say that if you W is ameniable to friendship then keep building on that. Work on the communication and just enjoying the moment. I often wanted more when things were good and it set me back. Let things naturally evolve. At this point I'm in a place where I've let the friendship slide. We still talk a fair amount and can go out to eat or the movies together, but I don't pursue as much. I've determined to take what she gives me, be patient, and keep looking at my own happiness. She might be lucky enough to get me back before I've moved on with someone else.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
