Latest emergency:

I have been reading all these books and getting advice here. I have seen so many ways that I have made mistakes in our R. This is to say, we both missed on pleasing the others needs. I will be seeing her on Thursday morning as she has offered to take me to my surgery. Again I know she still cares. I just want to tell her that with what I have read, and looked into myself for, I have an appreciation and understanding of the feelings she had in our marriage. Why she felt lonely, why she felt I didn't care. I can honestly say, after reading Mars-Venus, I was doing all the man things to show my love and admiration. I would give flowers and advice when she just needed me to shut up amd listen. She needed me to do other things. Having this knowledge has become painful in itself. I want to share this new knowledge with her and tell her I understand more but also fear the push it may cause. I have been trying to be more patient but I completely suck at it. My nerves are shot and I feel I have to say something about this. In the emails I have sent in the past, I have always used examples were I felt we made mistakes and the acts of kindness I had done to show I loved her rather than validating this hole experience.

I know now I just needed to say, I loved you and showed it to you in many ways. I just feel that they were not the way you needed at the time. I couldn't care more about you than I do now but I know I can show it differently than I have in the past.

I am so torn as to saying something like this and having it make a difference and of course the big push that will most likely happen.
How can she see that I undrstand without letting her know I understand?

My father past away last NOvember and I was there to hold his hand. I never thought I would feel so empty and helpless as that. But going through this divorce has left me like that for months now. In fact it has made me feel even worse.

Please advise

Jak466


Jak466




State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?

Del Griffith: Yes sir. Yes. Yes I do. I mean she may not look like much but she'll get you where you wanna go.